Warrior Dash – Feb. 2014

Back in the day, which was a Wednesday in case you didn’t know, I was a member of a kick-ass boot camp. Also back in the day, I was some how able to be persuaded into signing up for a mud run.

Warrior Dash
Warrior Dash

If you’re unfamiliar with such a “run”, lemme give you the 4-1-1. Ready?

Mud.

Clay.

Dirt.

Ick.

Got it? Cool.

Mud runs are a dirty ass fun time where you get to tramp through the wet, muddy, grasslands of a farm-like area near you. Lucky for me, Central-South Florida is filled with such areas and is a prime spot for such runs.

Also lucky for me, my then-fellow boot campers friggin’ loved the hell outta mud runs. Cue, Warrior Dash 2014.

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It was a dirty, dirty, DIRTY day, to say the least. Not only was it not great for actual running (which was cool since I hadn’t been bitten by the run-bug yet, and wouldn’t have survived the basic 5k+obstacles then) but it wasn’t great if you don’t like to, you know, like, get dirty. Which i came to learn, hey! I DONT LIKE TO GET DIRTY.

I don’t want to sound like a priss, but I gotta tell you…head to toe in plastered clay and mud just isn’t my cup o’ tea. Like, at all. Case in point:

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We literally pulled up to the race, saw people orange with clay pass by us, and I knew this would (probably) be my one and only mud run. And thus far, that has held true.

While some obstacles were super cool (see us all, above, atop a giant mud mountain), some were very scary. Namely, the vertical wall that you use only a dangling rope to haul your ass up with. It scared the poop outta me right off the bat. Mind over matter, though, right?

Naw. I made it about 1/2 way up, lost my footing, slipped, and rope-burned my hands as I slid the rest of the way down. By then, I was shaken up and decided – screw it! – I’m walking around this damn wall. Which I did.

Some of the more fun (less life threatening) obstacles, however, included balance beams, crawling under barbed wire (in mud, duh), wading through dirty ass water, and well…take a look…

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Lovely. That’s my buddy, Adrian, about to splash-land ahead of me.
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Pink tights; made me easier to spot 😉 #stylish

All in all, I will say, if you don’t mind the dirt, mud, clay, grime, and probably some cow feces destroyed clothes/shoes, you will have a good time. I had a good time, despite those things not being my thizang, but alas, I think I’ll count myself out of any future mud runs.

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The Tricked-You-Into-Thinking-You’re-Done Jump, hence why we’re still middle clean.
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What you actually look like you’re finished. High School Musical jump, FTW!

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